AMNESTY DECLARED

Airedale President Kevin Invites ChaseChomps and Squirrels to Formal Dinner

(ATBA New Network, 30 March 2015)  The new President of the United States, Kevin the Airedale, fresh off his crushing defeat at the hands of the Supreme Court over his attempt to legally change his name to Kevin Bacon, extended the olive branch of peace to two traditionally estranged political groups for Airedales:  ChaseChomps and Squirrels.

Kevin, who has been President of the United States ever since the Airedale coup at the White House ("Airedales Take Over U.S. Government in Coup" ), declared that “We have been at distance from ChaseChomps and Squirrels far too long.  It’s time to bury the ketchup right here and now.  I declare amnesty on our former bitter enemies.  We want them much closer to us, and we want it right now.”

Delegates were sent out to leaders of the special interest groups, but they got distracted and wandered away or took naps.

Kevin then sent official invitations to the ChaseChomp Leader Mitzi and Squirrel Dictator for Life Freddy.  The invitation read:  “Upon advice from my advisors Spike and Lola, I hereby invite all of your population to come for dinner at the White House tomorrow.   We wish to solve the problems that have existed between Airedales, ChaseChomps and Squirrels for far too long.”

The event, however, will not take place.  Mitzi sent back a litterbox-stained reply that read, “Don’t think so, Jerk.  Smell this.”  Freddy’s statement was:  “Are you NUTZ?”

Mitzi was not interested in coming for dinner

Freddy the Squirrel's incredulous response

Prez Kev protested that his motives were misunderstood.  “I don’t see what the problem is,” he protested.  “We just wanted to have them for dinner.”  Then he began squeaking his toy incessantly.

An obviously wounded and innocent President Kevin

It is hoped that negotiations will continue.

http://atbanewsnetwork.blogspot.ca/2015/03/airedales-take-over-us-government.html