AIREDALES TAKE OVER U.S. GOVERNMENT
(ATBANN, 15 March 2015) Worldwide governments are scrambling to adjust policy documents after a sudden and brutal coup of the United States government has left Airedale Terriers in power.
What originally started as a confused chaos early Saturday morning eventually formed into a focused group with a single intent in mind.
Unrest began when a false rumour circulated on the Canine Social Network that the White House had cornered the market on bacon and was refusing to share, even if someone sat nicely, barked sweetly and begged with a terminal cuteness.
Airedales began converging on the hotspot at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue early in the day. One dog named Armor hijacked a plane from Salt Lake City and crash landed it in nearby Georgetown, scaring a group of terrified Wiener Dogs and Toy Poodles.
Metro Police and Secret Service agents soon became unnerved at the massive amount of butt sniffing and BITEYFACE! going on. Several agents were injured by the Nose-to-Crotch Syndrome.
As it became obvious that White House officials were not forthcoming and were obviously holding out on the hidden Bacon Reserves, hysteria took over the crowd, which rushed the gates, snarling and jumping. Eventually the sheer weight of the crowd bent the iron bars and the Black and Tan wave swarmed the building.
The White House was empty, however. An AireForce helicopter had already evacuated everyone from the building.
Finding it empty, the ringleaders gathered in the Oval Office and held an impromptu press conference.
Kevin the Airedale, the group’s leader, dictated their terms after a slight delay (he accidentally pooped on the floor because he forgot to go before he left home).
“Governments of the world are hereby put on notice. We are in charge and will take your bacon whenever and wherever we like SQUIRREL!!!”
There was a 15 minute delay while the strike force searched the hallways for the rumoured squirrel. A Portuguese Water Dog was found during this time and interrogated, but no new evidence came to light.
More information will be provided as the situation develops.
well, ATBA since I am a resident of a Washington suburb I welcome the takeover of the WhiteHouse by Airedale terrorists, enough of Politics, let our people eat all the bacon they can stuff down their gullets!
ReplyDeleteIf it's a coup it negates the need for the proposed election in November, right?
ReplyDeleteAt last someone who is qualified to lead. The rebels will be able to address potential terrorists by being cute and then nip-nip-nipping at their parts. As for foreign treaties they'll use the charming/tough approach-lick 'em all over or we'll lick 'em in the field! Finally, Peas in our time!