(ATBA NEWS NETWORK, 13 August 2015) The unlikely presidential campaign of Arthur the Bad Airedale is over.
An investigation by the F.B.I. (Federal Bacon Institute) has revealed a massive conspiracy by Mr. Bad Airedale to defraud the American population.
Mr. Bad Airedale with His Political Planning Team
Mr. Bad Airedale launched his campaign only upon discovering that hogs would be in short supply and therefore BACON as well.
Becoming both alarmed and greedy as well as arrogant, he concocted a massive scheme whereby he would garner as much BACON as possible illegally while appearing to generously share with everyone else.
One of his schemes was to use roving gangs of Minion Wiener Dogs to cause a crash of a huge tractor trailer, spilling an astonishing 70,000 pounds of BACON on the road. Once the BACON was declared unfit for human consumption, Mr. Bad Airedale’s assistants packed it all up and delivered it to an undisclosed location that he owned.
In another astonishing turn, he entered the presidential race, appearing on at least one televised debate.
Even his campaign slogan was misleading: it turns out that the words “Free Bacon for Everyone” actually means in the Airedale Language “All Your Bacon Belongs to Me, Suckers!” He never intended for anyone else to receive a single piece of BACON.
The photo below shows Mr. Bad Airedale being apprehended by an FBI agent.
Mr. Bad Airedale posted bail shortly afterwards and made this statement: “I don’t care. I may have a BACON addiction problem, but it’s mine and I’m proud of it. Get out of my way unless you have BACON.”
Upset follower of Arthur the Bad Airedale
Then he disappeared into the wild back streets of the frontier town of Fort Erie. His whereabouts are currently unknown.
Yep !
ReplyDelete