(ATBA News Network, 20 Jan 2016) The world shuddered recently as terrible rumblings came from the earth deep underground in the mysterious country of North Korea.
Many feared that the underground tremors were a result of nuclear testing. However, the planet soon was filled with dread at the prospect of something far more horrible.
The North Koreans had invented the Doomsday Weapon.
Defectors who have recently escaped the reclusive regime reported to the New Pork Times that dictator Kim Jong-Un, also known as Ring-Ding Junior, has proudly unveiled a weapon of mass destruction so disgusting and lethal it could mean the end of the world.
It is called the FartDale.
The prototype monster, having been fed a secret formula, levelled a nearby mountain range with a blast so powerful that nuclear scientists could not measure it.
Even more terrifying is a secondary version of the weapon: the Silent FartDale, which emits methane which cannot be seen, but the smell of which can empty an entire city. A residual effect is that global warming is accelerated. Climatologists observed that half the Antarctic Ice Shelf collapsed into the sea after the first reputed Silent FartDale test.
Dictator Ring-Ding Junior: "We gonna stink up dis joint!"
Officials at the U.S. Pentagon threw up their hands (not their lunch) in despair. “Whattya gonna do against something as crazyass as that?” said General Bombthehelloutofthem. “There’s nothing in international law that ever conceived of something so awful.”
Only one person knows what to do: HeisenBark. But his price is very, very high.
BOL!
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