HUNGRY WIENER DOGS BEHIND PLOT TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD

(ATBA NEWS NETWORK, 10 May 2015)  In a major news scoop, Airedale Maris Barkingrowler has uncovered a massive conspiracy by Wiener Dogs.

Barkingrowler went undercover as a a bottle of ketchup to find out the truth.

After weeks of being shaken, not stirred, she found that Wiener Dogs are actually The Illuminati and control most world leaders.

She was able to snap a quick picture after “Vladimir Putin”’s head fell off during a speech about his plans to invade Las Vegas and a Wiener Dog named Gilbert emerged from Putin’s neck to to snatch a piece of steak from a banquet table.  No one noticed because Putin had lost his head on numerous occasions.

The United States of Airedale HomeFries Security Agency initially had no comment, but finally issued a statement.  In an historic first, Othello the Farting (Silent) Airedale, Minister of Juvenile Humor and Bad Taste, said:  “Yes, Putin’s head fell off and a Wiener Dog came out.  We have known for a long time that the 2Legs known as Vladimir Putin is actually a sock puppet operated by hungry Wiener Dogs.  They have taken over world dictators for a long time in their voracious pursuit of TATOR TOTS.”  (If you don’t get the bad joke, think about it - Wiener Dogs and Tator Tots / DicTators…yeah, it’s lame).

Anyhow, the HomeFries Security Agency raised the Alert Colour to a delicious golden brown, that golden colour that hash browns get just as they are sizzling and bubbling in delicious bacon grease and the smell drives you absolutely crazy and you want to bite your 4Legs in the ass so you can get those hash browns faster and…uh…Golden Brown is the Alert Colour.

Minister Othello warned citizens to remain vigilant and stayed armed with mustard in case Wiener Dogs ventured into their neighbourhood looking for DicTators or anything else edible.